A few weeks ago I went to Vancouver for a few days. After late nights, long days, greasy food, and one too many vodka slimes, my immune system took a vacation upon my return home and I caught a nasty cold that left me bed ridden for 3 days. As soon as I was well enough, I bounced back to work and filled up my schedule with many a rendez-vous. While I was watching my diet a little better, I still wasn't sleeping properly and my body let me know in full force that it had had it. I was able to make it to work all of last week, but I wasn't capable of much more. I spent all of my free time in my room watching Sailor Moon, reading Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh, and thinking about my life. I think I did far too much of the latter. By the end of the week I had turned into a nostalgia-fested, mopey, recluse. Memories of "the better days" and bitter feelings of lost love came rampaging out of nowhere and totally annihilated my happy-go-lucky, sunshine attitude.
With exception to a hazy trip I took to the mall while hopped up on Dayquil, yesterday was my first day out of the house. I spent most of the afternoon with a close friend of mine and his significant other. While I quite enjoyed myself, I still couldn't completely shake whatever forlorn state had come over me. Yesterday was my friend's 19th Birthday. She had organized a dinner with all of her friends which I attended, happy to be out of the house and seeing people I hadn't seen it what had seemed like months. Still though, my thoughts were a total mess and I remained distracted by doom, gloom, and impending thoughts of eternal loneliness. I remained in this absolutely ridiculous mind set through most of today as well. I was miserable. I knew I was being absolutely impossible, but I just wasn't able to put anything behind me, even though nothing had changed since the previous week. Then, a coworker of mine entered the store. She has just recently gone through a breakup and has had a lot of stress at home, but when she came through the door, she was happier than I had ever seen her. I asked her why she was so smiley, and she said that nothing had happened. She was just having a great day and loving life. Then I asked myself, "Why can't I have a fantastic day, too?" I immediately perked up at the thought of it. Something fantastic doesn't have to happen to make a day a "good day." It can be good just because you want it to be.
I made myself a caramel apple cider, picked up my pay cheque, and strolled along the lovely path back to my home. (Don't worry, everyone I came across had pants on.) The weather was absolutely perfect. I was walking past the Middle School a block from my house, past the lines of cars filled with parents waiting to pick up their kids. A car pulled into an open spot. It was a regular customer who had been in the store earlier. She gave me a huge smile and eagerly waved hello. For some reason, I thought that was really cool. I'm just the chick from the coffee shop, but my mere presence was enough to make her smile that much. It was just, cool! I checked the mail. The first thing I pulled out was an advertisement for Irving Berlin's White Christmas in which my best friend will be singing in the chorus. Neat coincidence. The next thing I pulled out was a letter addressed to myself which contained a $150 cheque from the government. As I walked through the door, my sister informed me that my Dad, who lives out of town, was going to be stopping by shortly. What an awesome array of surprise happenings!
The rest of the day hasn't been anything special, but I'm all warm and fuzzy.This whole entry seems so cheesy, but I'm okay with that. I was in such a rut, and all it took to get me out was to see one person being happy.
You can go vomit now. I know this has been disgustingly Opera.
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